I often wonder which disciple I would have been if I was one of Jesus original twelve. In class Monday as we talked about Judas and Peter, it amazed me at how awful these "men of God" followed him. I mean one helped the chief the priest and scribes capture Jesus and then the other practically spit in his face by denying him. I often wonder would I be one of these guys. It seems as though in my life I tend to see little bit of characteristics from both of these individual types. I might not deny Jesus with my mouth, but I do deny him with my life. People might hear my proclaim I am a Christian, but according to the way they see me living sometimes, I have never known him.
It amazes me that in our society today preachers, teachers, or just your normal run of the mill Christians can mess up one time and their lives be over. In recent years we have seen many preachers come under fire for ethical decisions they made(or didn't) and most of the time we do not see those preachers rebound.(except Jim Baker of course) See what amazes me about Peter is that he did rebound. That day changed Peter's life forever, as we know from scripture he went on to be one of the most influential preachers of all time. WOW! Maybe I do want to be like Peter, hopefully though I can use my past denials and move on.
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I too, wonder which one I would be like, if any. I wonder if seeing me for me Jesus would have even approached me and said, "Come, follow Me, and I will make you a fisher of men." I see myself as one that would have said yes, if asked, but maybe with reserve. That is not how Paul accepted or any of the other disciples. My life looked at by others should resemble the life that is now changed from the old life that should be no more.
maybe you would be james or john who thought they were the greatest, or thomas who lacked faith. i don't know who i would be either, rather i would just hope that Christ would have seen in me the potential to be on of the twelve
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